I Said “Sauce”…Not “Sauce-age”!!!!!!!!

My eldest son came home from school mid-day because he had two free periods. We decided to utilize the time to get a tuxedo for his upcoming senior prom. So off we went to the men’s clothing store. After he was fitted and everything was taken care of, he asked if we could go to a nearby restaurant for coal-oven pizza. I had never been there before, so I didn’t even know if there would be anything on the menu for me to order. I figured that I could always eat later, if necessary, so off we went for lunch. When it was time for the waitress to take our order, I asked her if they could prepare a personal pizza for me with whole wheat crust, arugula and sauce with no cheese. She replied that they didn’t have whole wheat crust but I ordered the pizza anyway.

After a few minutes, our lunch was served. My pizza was totally covered with mounds of arugula on top and it looked yummy!!!! I took a slice and dug into it with GUSTO while trying to hold the overflowing arugula in its rightful place on top of the slice. After eating several bites very quickly (I guess I was hungrier than I thought), I tasted something unusual which was clearly not arugula.  Panic set in as I recalled that taste from my distant past. I threw the pizza slice down onto the plate and scraped the arugula off with my fork. There they were, hiding under the arugula all along like little cowards…pieces of sausages!!!! Needless to say, I was horrified as I had probably eaten several pieces without even knowing it!!!

I immediately called over the waitress and asked her why there were sausages on my arugula pizza to which she replied “Oh, I thought you said you wanted sausage on your pizza with no cheese!” UGH!!! I told her that I said “sauce” and not “sausage” and that I was a complete vegetarian who had not put a piece of meat into my body in years until that moment. She apologized and gave me the bill with my sausage pizza on it!!!!!

Moral of the story: if you follow a vegan diet, make sure to say the word “sauce” very clearly when ordering your pizza or you will end up obsessing about what will happen to you from eating gross meat like I am right now!!!!!